Long time

I think this has been the longest time I have been away from my blog since I started it exactly two years ago. I was planning to be finished with it by now, or rather, to have finished the thesis and then the mere reason for its existence would have disappeared. I would have written a nice farewell entry and tried to find a way to convert it all into a pdf as a memoir of the "heem adventure". However here I am, after six long and intense months working full-time and doing all I can to get the thesis done, still struggling with it all.

When I saw I could not finish on time I thought out a plan: to spend three weeks in Oslo, alone and near my supervisor and the library and finish it there and then. But after quite some time and energy trying to get it organised things have not turned out as planned. So I have a plan B (always have a plan B!) which also sounds good and may lead me to the end (or near the end) of this process. I will spend nearly three weeks in the Alpujarras (Granada, south of Spain) in my mother's little mountain house, with food and bed taken care of and little distraction around I hope to be able to focus and finish all the writing. I am looking forward to my plan B, it will be lovely to spend some time with my mother, chatting in the evenings, working during the day, and sleeping all I need and more. Nice!

People ask me once and again how come I am not finished yet, after so much work... what to answer unless you have been through a similar process?! The reasons are varied, the first and maybe the most important is that I have not had consecutive time to dedicate to it. Basically weekends, which means that by the time Friday comes I cannot remember where I was the previous weekend. This is more important than might seem because ideas have to be parked away to allow ideas for work to come through, and then brought back the next week. Not easy to do.

A second reason is the change in focus of the research. One starts with one idea, but as the idea develops it can be seen from different perspectives, or it simply can lead to another even more interesting idea. This is part of the process, and it takes time to know exactly where you want to go.

A third reason is that a thesis is not done alone, the supervisor also has a role and is capable of changing focus, orientation, theoretical background... and therefore sometimes a lot of work can be discarded after a session with the supervisor. The intention is that it will make the thesis a better one, let's hope so!

A fourth reason is family and friends, or maybe the wording should be social relations. We, as humans, need to socialize, to talk with friends, to see and enjoy family company, to go out and do things... I have learnt that without a minimal dose of family and friends I am not happy and cannot work as good. It is a necessity like sleeping well and doing exercise. But, of course, it takes time.

Finally, a last reason is energy and unexpected events. The energy is not always there, I can have a whole weekend more or less to myself and not have the energy to write, to read, to work on thesis. These weekends fortunately have been rare in me, but there have been some and then a whole monthly schedule is broken. There is nothing to do in these cases but try to relax and recover motivation and energy for the next one. As for unexpected events... well, these can happen at any given time and also brake schedules and plans.

So all in all, I hope I have answered the question as to why I am not yet finished. Believe me my friends, I am the one most interested in finishing soon. You cannot imagine how I crave for weekends and afternoons were time is exclusively mine...

So now, back to thesis world... Oh, one last thing, I've finished my interviews! Yuhuuu!

Selected pics

Us on bikes
Copenhaguen
Sunset from boat
John and Alberto in Copenhaguen
Us
Oslo Opera House
Oslo Opera House (Renie, Antonio and Alberto)
Sognsvan
Oslo fjord from Frogneseteren

Where am I?

Good question. I feel I have been all over the place except for home these days. I am now ready for some tranquility, some peacefulness to recover my body, my mind and my emotions from these past two weeks. 

First came the visit of Antonio and the excursion to get his motorbike safely parked.

Then came Oslo, the early morning work, the flight and two long days full of activities.

Later came the boat to Copenhaguen, the two nights on the boat with a bunch of HEEMsters and the day in the city riding bikes.

After that came the meetings with my supervisor... so much work once again (I have lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel, ups!). 

Then the late flight back, another visit and a few days of work.

Last but not least came the two and a half day trip to Brussels for work, with all its intensities and early mornings.

And now... I am simply a tired person with not much time to write on her blog, to think and much less to reflect upon the wonders of the knowledge society, universities, governance, autonomy...

But, as Herman Hesse says: "So that the possible may arise, the impossible must always be attempted". There you will find me.

This weekend I will post some beautiful images of up north. How I have learnt to love the nordic scenery!

Quick

Just a quick post, I'm out of time these days. Yesterday Antonio arrived all the way from Madrid to spend a day in Barcelonan (and watch the football match and even the festivities after Barça won the Champions League!) and then off to Oslo. Funny, we all leave for Oslo on the same day but on different flights and different timings. Once there, we are all staying in the same place. I am really looking forward to spend a few days in Norway, a place that makes me feel good as soon as I land.

I worked a lot last weekend and sent all my work to my supervisor. Let's just hope he has time to take a look at it before our meeting! I really need some guidance. I'm feeling all insecure with this thesis process lately. With work and all I have no time to reflect, to modify, to rethink, revise, reorganise... I hope to manage to make a good enough thesis though. I'll do my best, that is for sure.

Metodologia de recerca

Recordo quan a la carrera estudiàvem una assignatura que es titulava alguna cosa així com "metodologies de recerca I" i era aburridíssima i no li veia el sentit per enlloc. Llàstima... Llavors no era conscient del que volia dir "fer recerca" ni de la importància que té fer servir una bona metodologia. Malauradament les classes que hem tingut al màster no han estat ni de bon troç suficients per a tenir un bon coneixement de les metodologies de recerca en ciències socials, però cada dia que treballo en la tesina m'adono de la importància que tenen, del seu sentit i fins i tot de la seva bellesa (qui havia de dir que jo diria això uns anys més tard!!). Doncs és cert, perquè la metodologia és com un camí, que si el segueixes pas per pas sense badar, et porta directament al teu destí. Sembla senzill dit així, però seguint amb les metàfores, el camí està plagat d'obstacles, creuaments i distraccions, de manera que ni és fàcil trobar l'inici, ni és fàcil seguir-lo pas a pas.

La metodologia, a més, aporta validesa, coherència i professionalitat a la recerca. Cal ser molt rigurós per a que els resultats siguin vàlids i puguin tenir algún tipus de conseqüència. Això és més fàcil dit que fet, doncs quan fas una recerca és tan i tan senzill canviar paraules, entendre les coses segons els teus prejudicis i idees pre-establertes, llegir només la part que interessa i omitir l'altre... Però cal ser sincer, reconèixer i explicitar les limitacions i, en ciències socials sobretot, acceptar que portes un cert i innevitable bagatge amb tú, i que això influenciarà si o si el que estudies.

Bé, prou per ara i segueixo treballant que tinc molt camí per fer i molts obstacles per davant. Com aquest... ups!

[Foto del meu pare]

Art and colours on the streets

Some colourful surprises I encountered lately...

Girona "Temps de flors"
 

  

 

Barcelona, the centre and Gracia with its open air paiting exhibition (art als carrers)

Phd

When I began the HEEM master I had a clear idea of what I wanted to do after I finished, of what I wanted to be "when I grew up". I wanted to work in a university, specifically in an International Relations Office. I loved the idea of being in contact with other universities in the world, with people from different cultures and traditions, of feeling I contributed to "bringing together people". Yes, quite a dream...

This master has changed many of my ideas, among them were I see myself working, or what I think my "ideal job" would be. Basically, and as has been the norm in my life, I know what I do not want, but do not know what I want, or rather, I do not know the exact name and position I want but do know the feeling of it... Yes, I know all this is confusing, but I am just sharing thoughts today and it has nothing to do with my current position, which I highly enjoy and motivates me everday, and I know will motivate me for quite a while to go yet. It is something deeper... something that might be called a desire for Phd? I somehow think that I need a Phd, that I would like to continue in academia. On the other hand I love working, I enjoy feeling I contribute to something that has nearly immediate and/or pragmatical consequences. That is something I missed when I was only studing. I had the feeling that I was only filling myself with knowledge but not sharing it, not using it for anything with a purpose, a consequence. However I also enjoy discovering, learning, thinking and understanding reality, its dynamics, its flows, its ways... I wonder, I just wonder how and if one can combine the two? Some might say "but you are, with work and thesis". True, I am combining the two, but this is like combining two jobs, and I'd like my job to combine the two, not two independent jobs.

I'll leave it at this for now.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

 [Confucius]

(No photo today, just a bunch of words, of thoughts, after a long week)

Sometimes

Sometimes one has to go through situations one would much prefer not to. It's the kind of situation you know from the very beginning that will not be a pleasurable experience but you can't avoid it. Examples could be oral exams, public presentations, some work related meetings, interviews... Lately I have had to go through a few of these uncomfortable situations. Here are some thoughts that came up to me:

- Experience does help, but is not the solution. There is no solution. The more often you live these situations the less nervous you get beforehand but it does not help to improve the feeling during the situation.

- It is usually less terrible than imagined.

- Somehow you manage to improvise and do a good job, no matter how nervous you are, people are hardly ever aware of what is going on inside you.

Entrevistas y transcripciones

He hecho ya casi todas las entrevistas. Me faltan un par que haré este miércoles y esta fase quedará zanjada. Sólo me queda una espinita: no haber podido conseguir una entrevista con alguien, bien del Ministerio de Ciencia e Innovación  (hasta hace muy poco el que tenía competencia en materia de educación superior) o bien el Ministerio de Educación. 

Las universidades, como cualquier institución u organización hoy en día, no funciona en un vacio, sino que está connectado al entorno, un entorno que la influencia y a la vez que al que puede influenciar. Este entorno, en el caso de mi estudio, va más allá de Cataluña, ya que las políticas nacionales tienen un peso importantísimo y que, a su vez, se encuentran dentro del marco Europeo e incluso global. Por lo tanto, no se puede estudiar una universidad sin tener en cuenta todos estos niveles de incidencia. Tarea complicada en 90 páginas de tesis y un tiempo limitado.

Hoy he comenzado la árdua tarea de transcribir las entrevistas. Es un proceso largo, meticuloso y que preveía interminable y aburridísimo. Pero la tecnología parece que me está haciendo la vida mucho más sencilla de lo que pensaba. La grabadora que compré tiene una función que permite reproducir a una velocidad lenta, por lo tanto puedo ir escribiendo a la velocidad que voy oyendo. Mañana espero terminar de transcribir todas las que he hecho hasta ahora y poder dedicarme a redactar el capítulo de la metodología. 

Lo que he descubierto con este proceso, con estos meses trabajando en la tesis es que me gusta. Disfruto de lo que voy aprendiendo, del reto, de las lecturas, de escuchar a los entrevistados, de conocer más de cerca el sistema universitario público catalán, las dinámicas de las universidades europeas... En definitiva, me gusta mi profesión, mi campo de trabajo. Este descubrimiento me llena de satisfacción, he tardado muchos años en encontrar un campo con el que sentirme agusto y uno en el que me veo trabajando y estudiando muchos años. Para los que me conocéis bien, sabéis cuántas vueltas le he dado a la vida buscando algo que me llene, algo por lo que no me importe dedicarle horas o por lo que aceptar dejar un trabajo e irme fuera como hice hace ya un año y medio. Lástima que sea un campo de trabajo y una profesión tan difícil de explicar, y tan desconocida en España, desgraciadamente.

Termino hoy con una foto de las maravillas de Portugal, ¡cómo echo de menos esas playas infinitas!

Hem guanyat!

Si, el Norbert Sabic i jo hem guanyat el concurs d'entrades al bloc de la xarxa Hedda. Hem decidit fer servir el premi, 1000 NOK (poc més de 100€), per a comprar menjar i beguda pel picnic de comiat que farem a Vigeland's Park a Oslo a finals d'aquest mes.
Per veure el vídeo i el text amb el que vam participar: cliqueu aquí